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Dear Ellis,

Mental health is a funny thing, isn’t it? I’m pretty sure it’s something that is at the forefront of everybody’s mind at the moment — but it’s not something that anybody seems willing to talk about. Its strange — isolation makes us feel incredibly lonely and yet in our loneliness, we struggle to reach out to the people closest to us. I’m sure you’ve experienced this, like I have… the feeling of total isolation and your response may have been similar to mine — to withdraw, be strong and pretend like you’re ok.

It’s in the lonely moments that I miss my friends. Friends like you; who know how to laugh in the face of adversity. Friends who always seem to make the world seem right, when it’s almost certainly not. Friends who are happy to climb into the shit-heap and tell you that it’s ok, while simultaneously pointing out that you’re sat in excrement and could do with a warm shower.

I wouldn’t have ever imagined that I would be in this position — desperate for human interaction, but more determined than ever to dig deep into the well of self-preservation and keep going. I would never have thought that life would bring me to this point — the point where a phone call feels like too much work, where a simple meet-up has to be accounted for or an act of kindness weighed up in my mind against the time it might take out of my schedule.

That said — we probably do need a good lads holiday! So here’s to that!

See you soon, mate! Jt