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Dear Ellis,

I had a phenomenal day today. I hung out with some friends of ours; people who I’m sure you’d get along with. They have 3 children - all girls! We had a tremendous barbecue, drank a lot and laughed a lot.

Now, why am I telling you about this, you might ask? Because, truth be told, when the music stopped and we all went home; it was an average day by all accounts and I don’t know what could be more exciting than an “average day”.

I often wonder, in moments like these, if you stop and think about me. It’s a strange line of thought - to wonder if somebody is wondering about you…

But I know the kind of person you are - you’re probably consumed by your family, work, friends and whatever else happens to be in front you. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t judge you or hold it against you; that’s life! That’s just the way it is, and I certainly don’t need you pining after me — but there’s a certain loneliness to that wondering, isn’t there?

Strange that, even though I’m sat thinking about you, I won’t dare text or call. Is it because that seems weak? Or am I secretly attracted to this weird sort of mental and emotional imprisonment - this darkened soliloquy. Perhaps I’m unique, in that I desperately want to be important, but not so important that I intrude? Maybe… I find great pride in giving myself a mental “high five” for thinking of those most important to me - and find total gratification in that, as opposed to giving of myself and taking a fraction out of my day to let them know.

Whatever the deep-seated psychological reason — I want you to know that in this moment, I am thinking of you.

Jt